A Shot in the Dark:

So, over the past 4 years, I've found myself becoming more and more disgusted with the selection "Cupid" has to offer dedicated to the brotherhood of SMS (Single Man Society). However, as of lately, things have become a bit... hazy when dealing with my own insecurities inner thoughts as to why I'm single in the first place.

Over the past few days I've been giving my Relationship status some serious thought. (And by thought, I mean, whenever a commercial comes in to interrupt my midnight dose of Nick @ Nite's "The Nanny". Don't judge me...)
As much as I want to say that I enjoy the single life, I gotta admit, there are times where I'll roll over at night and realize that there's nothing there; only pillows barricading the empty space.
But shit, big boy's don't cry, and the only "milk" I've spilled was deliberately done (See. Tweet "Oops")

So, I have no choice but to take it for what it is. Right?
See, it's somewhat of a double-edged sword, only cutting you when you grab the wrong end. Like for instance, on a Saturday night, when you're out with your (insert plural gender here) having the time of your life. The music is reminding you how good you look and how great you feel ('cause you're dancing like you da shit and everyone's watchin'). The drinks have you so far gone, and the (insert gender here) on the opposite side of the bar looks better than anything you've ever tasted in your entire life. So, what do you do? Thank God that you're single and whatever you are about to do will have no moral backlash by the time you sober up (hopefully... smh). --Everyone's happy.
Now what about that following Thursday, when it's pouring down with rain while thunder beats harder than any speaker at (insert club/bar here). Your phone's not ringing, and not one person has bothered to comment on your recent Facebook status declaring your loneliness. You begin to scroll through your recent call log to decide on who to call/text. Maybe you'll text (insert name here)? Then you realize how out of sync their conversation is with your own. Ooh, or what about (insert name here)? Then you remember that they just don't "do it" for you. The problem? You want something fresh, new, and exciting. Someone who you can spend the night with, without coming up with some bogus excuse on why they have to leave early in the morning. (guilty) Someone you can see yourself staying with as long as your schedules allow... That's what you want.
But you'll never get that. Why? Because you're too busy waiting for the next one. The next song, the next drink, the next (insert gender here) standing at the opposite side or the bar. Deep down you're telling yourself that "this might be the one". (Also known as "Grass is Greener Complex")

This might be a shot in the dark, but maybe... just maybe, it's not the one because the last one was. You were just too caught up to realize it.

just a thought.

SMS
Spring '04 initiate.